Writers avoid writing. Sometimes. It's just part of the dealio, yet I'm always surprised when it happens to me.
Things I Do When I'm Supposed To Be Writing:
Clean the kitchen. My kitchen is very, very clean right now.
Watch Oprah. Cry. Oprah is emotional laxative for me. I always cry, whether her guest is a two-legged dog or a woman who lost her uterus in a house fire.
Watch another episode of Oprah.
Go to the store to buy Kleenex.
Shop at Forever 21. I have a whole new fashionably cheap wardrobe and nowhere to wear it since I’ve decided I will be chaining myself to my computer for the next few weeks.
Google other successful people and see what they’re doing with their fabulously productive lives. Get agitated. Promise myself to write more. Promise myself I’ll stop comparing myself to others.
Go to You Tube and watch videos of the Carol Burnett show. Revel in a flood of memories that entail watching the show as a child and deciding that I would grow up and make silly faces for a living.
Pluck my eyebrows. I am very hairy so they often need plucking. But I’ve over plucked them and now they just look weird. Which doesn’t matter. No one will see me anyway - I’m chaining myself to my desk for the next few weeks, remember?
Convince myself I’m writing by blogging about not writing.
Surrender to the fact that no writing will get done today.
Write. Oh yeah, meditating gets me there. Funny how once I empty my mind... I'm ready to sit down and face the empty page.